Love is wonderful, and our commitment to love is expressed through marriage. We celebrate and profess vows. We make promises to one another to stay by each others side in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. These beautiful vows are made with perfect intentions. No matter what comes our way, we will be together ’til death do us part’. Reality may not be what we hoped for; you may end up asking ‘what can I do to save my marriage’?
A marriage can be saved, even completely transformed from a sad, or even depressing, situation to a life long love affair with your spouse. Even in the most difficult situations, such as adultery, marriages can be saved. Trust in hope, and know that you are not alone. Saving your marriage requires that you clearly understand what you should and should not do in the reconciliation process. Your desire to change your marriage for the better led you to this article in the first place.
Your marriage is in one of the six stages of the relationship life cycle:
1. Romance and infatuation
2. After the honeymoon
3. Staking your territories
4. Evaluation
5. Reconnection
6. Commitment
You are likely in stage 4 right now, and wanting to get to stage 5. But you may be also be wondering why you married your spouse in the first place. Perhaps marriage would be better with a different spouse. It is a difficult time realizing the dream, your vision of marriage, is not what you now have. The romance and infatuation stage is long gone and so are the blissful feelings of the honeymoon stage. While this is emotionally very hard, it is also perfectly normal. Closeness and intimacy, and sexual relations, change for the worse and this is the point where one of you may consider an affair. Avoid this no matter how difficult it seems at the moment. Remember you took vows, and now you must develop the skills to reconnect with your partner and change your marriage. Working through this will be painful and difficult, but keep the goal in mind. Make sure you equip yourself with the right tools to make the process more effective. By doing this you can get the result you want and avoid becoming a marriage statistic.
Problems commonly encountered include: what if my spouse does not want to try to salvage our relationship, how do I get past hurt feelings, can we ever trust each other again? Be careful at this stage. If you are asking for forgiveness, begging for it or making promises about changing may not be received graciously. Try putting yourself in their shoes. On the other hand, are you capable of forgiveness and what conditions would you impose? Trying for the quick fix is the really just a quick path to more of the same. Marriage difficulties do not develop right away, and they cannot be fixed right way. The process takes time. However, acquiring the skills and tools to reconnect, and even transform your marriage, will make the process shorter, and you will know the answer to your question ‘what can I do to save my marriage’?
If you are asking is there any way to save my marriage, stop by Sarah Lindahl’s site where you can find the answer to the question is there any way to save my marriage.
